i strive to let the tot explore as much as he wants to as long as he doesn’t hurt himself, hurt others or destroy things. i strive to say “no”s or “can’t”s as least as i can, i like to say more of “yes-es”, “try”s and “oh you can”s.

but lately the many issues, happenings, state of exhaustion have left me feeling drained to think of creative words to say, and i’ve found myself saying alot of “don’t”s, “no”s and “can’t”s. i wonder why these words are so easy, so natural to say, these are 1st words that pop in your head so instinctively. why do we not need much energy & effort to say these words?

one incident kinda helped snapped me out of this negative frame. i brought tot to get dinner, and as we were waiting to cross the road, he spotted a mynah flying across the road and indicated that he too, wanted to fly across the road. immediately, i replied, “oh sorry, you can’t fly, you don’t have wings like birds”.

a moment of silence between us. i’m not sure what the tot thought about my response, but i was taken aback by my own words after i’ve uttered them. what a huge bucket of cold water i’ve just poured on my son, what a boring mom i am!!

i turned to him and said, “oh yes, actually you can! c’mon!” i picked him up by the knees and the arms, carried him horizontal with him facing down. he squealed in delight and spread his arms wide apart like wings and there he went flying across the road, like the birdy. he landed on the opposite of the road, beaming with pride and contentment.

you can fly2

i will strive my best, asher.
i can’t make you fly but i can help you fly.  
you can fly