conceptually it makes so much sense and logic, but in reality, it is really difficult to grasp & handle, especially if you’re a SAHM like me, you face every of it at your every waking minutes and seconds.
what is commonly known as the “terrible twos” (TT) is currently happening and even with all the knowledge & experience i have (in my work previously), i’m constantly been driven to the brink of insanity on a daily basis with the tot’s constant “no”s and “don’t want”s at any & everything i say or do, whether he actually knows what is happening/what i’m saying. when i say, “don’t do that”, he says, “do that!”, when i say, “do this”, he says, “don’t want do that!” even when i tried to use the positives, for example, instead of saying, “don’t touch that”, i said, “pls leave that alone” or “hands-off please”, he will respond with, “don’t want to leave that alone!” he wants to do the exact opposite of everything, he’s constantly testing limits (and patience!), pushing boundaries (and pushing me over the edge!). he can swing from one extreme mood swing to another in just a matter of seconds, one moment we can be happily playing, suddenly he might become extremely upset and can make the most absurd demands!
argh!!! i love the little guy so much but this is totally driving me crazy!
some days when i have a lil’ more energy, i’ll be creative, engaging his co-operation in a fun manner which works really well, and yet some days, i’ll be humorous and laugh things off and that helped to retain my sanity a great deal. but on most days, i just don’t have the physical/mental capability that translate into creativity & a sense of humor. i can start off with a strong positive resolve to be patient, creative, fun & humorous in the morning when i wake up, only to end up feeling completely drained, mentally exhausted, frustrated & impatient towards the end of the day.
but he is not being rebellious, he is not trying to make life insane for me, he is not purposefully making things difficult for me, he is definitely not trying to be naughty, he is most definitely not “terrible”…
he is in this stage of development which is so important, so necessary.
he needs to assert himself, he has this innate great need for independence as he develops his individuality, it is such a necessary process for him to be separated from his parents and find his own identity & individuality…
to ‘fight’ him against his behaviour as a result of this progress of development is going against nature, (like trying to ask a lion not to hunt/kill), he is ever exploring the world thats so large beyond himself, he is growing up, he is searching for his own identity
so i strive, i try to strive harder each new day, to be the mom who will embrace all the good & the challenging, all the pleasant moments and the not-so-pleasant moments, to let my child develop into his own unique person, to enjoy & delight in his new independence, oh my God, i need lotsa wisdom…and LOTSA patience