i’m not in the most joyful self for the past week or so…lets see the range of emotions i have: overwhelmed, exhausted, hormonal, anxious, concerned, bushed, slightly discouraged, a lil’ disheartened, sadness, exasperated, glum, tension, quite a list huh…my face feel cramped up, i tried to put my shoulders low to relax & be very conscious not to clench my teeth together too tight…bodily discomfort that i’ve been experiencing adds on – severe headaches, neck pain, back pain, cramped shoulder , numbed arm, twitching eye, jerking limps & hurting teeth

last saturday was a picnic gathering i’ve organised for the participants from my parenting workshop & i was looking forward to it, praying hard that the weather stayed cloudy as it had been for most part of the day, but just as i was leaving home, it started to drizzle. when i got to the venue, it wasn’t raining but as i decided on the spot to settle while waiting for the rest, raindrops started falling & the sky couldn’t look more menacing. i was disappointed, pretty disappointed, my mood was as dark as the clouds above. (note: i almost couldn’t get outta house because the kid was crying pitifully for me to bring him – i was supposed to bring him but he started having diarrhoea thru’out the nite, so he was very disappointed he couldn’t come along & i was feeling horrible for having to leave him crying). we picnic-ed in the pavilion, squeezed with many other picnickers (some with loud voices, some with loud singing & laughing). the rain didn’t let up one bit, in fact it got heavier, sky got darker. we were trying to have decent conversations, trying to hear clearly & see each other’s faces clearly…about 4 or 5 families couldn’t make it at a late notice (either cos kids were sick or they’re sick), so i’ve gotta to chuck a lot of the food i prep…i was feeling quite awful (i’m normally quite cheery still, so if i’m feeling awful at such lil’ things, u know the state of mind i’m in)

there were 4 kids & a baby, and as i sat there, trying to chat & observing them (more of the kids), i noticed the stark difference. did they care if the rain didn’t let up? no, they’re happy out in the rain. were they bothered if its dark? no, they’re happy blowing bubbles from the bottles. were they disappointed that there aren’t more kids to play with? no, they’re totally enjoying one another’s company. were they bored because they’re stuck under shelter? no, they’re creative & decided to take delight in pouring the remaining soapy water in the bottles on their hands so they can have a mini foam party. they munched satisfactorily, played out of nothing, giggled non-stop. and the grand lesson they taught me at the end when they sang some of the children’s classic songs in the rain? (the adults were drenched tryng to shelter them holding out the picnic mat, they had so much fun going underneath the mat shelter!) c’mon, no need to cry over the rain and all, enjoy life, live it to the fullest & make the best out of every situation!

the kid’s been having diarrhoea since fri nite, today is tuesday, i’ve no idea how many pieces of soiled clothings i’ve soaked, scrubbed, soaked, scrubbed, poured hot water, poured baking soda, poured vinegar, poured bleach…he’s getting better, but my back’s hurting badly from bending over to rub & soothe his tum while he’s on the throne…with me feeling totally fatigued, i almost broke down & cry when he had an accident this morning while we were about to leave home for school. he couldn’t get to the loo in time & he stood there crying with loose stools dripping down his bum & thighs. i stared at the big pile of poo on the bathroom floor & i just wanna bawl out. i’ve no idea how eventually i had the presence of mind to still remain calm, kept reassuring him its ok, i’m gonna clean him up, its ok…he calmed & still trying to finish up his last bit of sobs, he blurted out, “the poo looks like a crocodile, its funny right?” i let out a sniggle, unknowingly. i’m glad, very glad a sniggle came out instead of a bawl. that one innocent comment has reverted a possibly insane reaction from me.

great reminders why jesus asked us to be like little children, why we should welcome them warmly into our arms. we should welcome them into our minds too, so we can learn to see things through their eyes. let the little children come.

thank you so much, kids.

asher

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