yesterday I had the privilege of having half a day to myself (in a long while). I went to my favourite reservoir to have some solitary time. vastness-nature-quietness always refreshes, always recharges me. the peace helps declutters my mind & soul, away from the busyness of a full-sahm-cum-part-time working mom (seriously, I need like 48hrs a day).
with my mind & soul emptied & renewed with God’s presence, assurance & a reminder verse of Isaiah 40:28-31. I walked outta the reservoir with a heart-tank filled to the brim and asked God to show me one person to bless today. and I was looking for a way to give my tithe (yay, finally able to tithe on my own again, with my first pay check in a very loooooooong time).
I went on my way to have my painful wrists & knees treated at the sinseh, I ran some errands before my appointment. then I saw this very elderly lady selling packets of tissue paper. initial thought was to head over, buy few packets & pass her more than what she’s selling the packets for. but I didn’t feel good about doing just that. then an idea came, and that fulfilled a few goals: to bless her, give my tithe, conduct a social experiment & bless many other people too. I went over, bought the entire bag of packet tissue (probably gave her more than what’s worth), asked her to go rest, then I went to a foodcourt & started giving out the packets to the people eating there. I got many frowns, stares, stunned expressions, mumblings, indifference & impatient waving of hands. there were a handful who were pleasantly surprised, and gave head nods, smiles & oh thanks.
well, at the end of it, I achieved another goal. I overcame myself. initially my heart was thumping furiously, not sure if I should make a fool of myself, embarrassed that people thought I was crazy. I was very self-conscious. but ironically, after a few ‘rejections’ (frantically trying to wave me away & frowning, probably assuming i’m trying to sell tissue paper), I got bolder. and very quickly I just found myself happily giving out the packets, smiling and saying, “tissue paper for you”.
victory is great when you overcame yourself. when you overcame your conscious self. when you see less of yourself and more of others. when you see beyond yourself. when you are reminded that there is a bigger world out there, that there are people who have greater needs. there are so much more you can do, to be God’s hands, God’s feet, to show God’s heart & His love.