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after having gone for 6 sessions of acupuncture & taking tcm medicine, i’m glad to report that my worsened PLMD is quite back to the usual PLMD condition, where i don’t feel the jerking while i’m awake much anymore, though its not a cure, but i’m extremely grateful & felt very relieved
presenting more good news, i’m better able to handle my emotions now after being reminded to spend quiet time with God, leaning on His strength & grace every single day;
i realised that i felt miserable & frustrated mostly because i felt i’m fighting this all alone, there’re no one out there i know who has this condition, there’re no such support group (at least locally), but i need to acknowledge that even when no one truly understand, God who is God of all comforts & knows the exact number of hair on my head, understands in every aspect & every core, which is all i need
on the other hand, the husband & i are working out to better cope with this chronic situation and he has learned to show support & encouragement best perceived by me & he has shown me great patience & grace, i thank God for him
the battle with my PLMD has not been an easy one, but i thank God that i’ve grown, ALOT
everytime i thought i’ve reached the bottomest of pits, He lifts me up to newer grounds;
everytime i thought i’ve had enough of learning/refining, He sheds new light & refines me to new levels; everytime i thought i couldn’t hold on any longer, He shows me grace more than sufficient
i had gotten angry with God, i wrestled with Him, i questioned Him, demanded answers, accused Him of not loving me enough to want to cure me, but out of all these, He drew me closer to Him & brought me into intimacy with Him more than i can desire
what doesn’t break us make us even stronger, circumstance that doesn’t tear us apart make us all the more closer & united
i am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me 🙂